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An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Brilliant!! Postscript uses poetic license. 

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. 

 

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.  He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: 

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;  
- Why the early bird gets the worm;  
- Life isn't always fair;  
- And maybe it was my fault. 

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). 

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.  Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended  from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. 

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. 

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. 

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. 

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.  She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

 

Common Sense was preceded in death; 

- by his parents, Truth and Trust,

- by his wife, Discretion,

- by his daughter, Responsibility,

- and by his son, Reason.

 

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;  

- I Know My Rights

- I Want It Now

- Someone Else Is To Blame

- I'm A Victim

- Pay me for Doing Nothing

 

At his funeral to assure Common Sense would never return to disrupt plans to rip down the three long-serving high schools in Wilkes-Barre, the following seven of nine Board members showed up with nails and hammers: 

- Louis M. Elmy

- Joseph A. Caffrey

- Ned J. Evans

- Dino L. Galella

- John R. Quinn

- Dr. James F. Susek

- Denise T. Thomas 

 

Christime A. Katsock and Reverend Shawn Walker came to aid Common Sense but were bullied and overpowered by a majority of the School Board, who still believe the WB Area voters will not throw them out of office for malfeasance and tyranny. 

I can see voters bringing multiple Stanley Claw Nail Pullers to the first Board Meeting after the November Election to remove the nails from the Coffin of Common Sense. 

As a side note, not many attended the funeral of COMMON Sense because so few realized he was gone.

 

If you still remember him, pass this on and tell others.

...If not, join the majority of the world and do nothing.